tonari no shibafu

First you see fahzaa...

...then you see me!

Had a surreal Japan moment the other day.  I'm working out at the Komazawa Park public gym, surrounded, as you would suspect, by Japanese people.  All of a sudden Peter Cetera's Glory of Love, came on the sound system.

Abso-f'ing-lutely classic.

Please forgive the expletive infixation, but it perfectly sums up the way I was feeling.

UPDATE:  Bill Simmons' take on the movies.

Game on!

One Pretty Good Month

Here's how June went.

No coffee I had coffee only twice, and both times it was put in front of me.  Had a little caffeine in the form of cola, but pretty much have that monkey off of my back.  Still having a little trouble with my sleep schedule, but have evened out a lot.

Less weight and a lower bodyfat content at the end than the beginning Never did get around to weighing myself, so this one will be a hold over.

At least 13 days in the dojo Only went nine days, but the first day wasn't until the 16th, so I'm calling this a win.

Savings of no less than US$500
Full preparation for all of my school related work Skipped one day of each of my seminars, but have kept up with the reading and am making good progress.

10 pages of Yamaga Soko article Still doing the reading prep work, and haven't started the intro yet.  Still have almost two months to work on the article, but have to pick up the pace after classes end next week.

10 unassisted chins Not quite there yet, but making progress
Revised resume Still have this one to do, but now a back burner item since my contract was renewed for 3 more months.

No English language television Not even close.  Went about 10 days with none, but then got hooked back into watching Family Guy, Trailer Park Boys, and Entourage.

1 or more days of hoops with the Setagaya Phoenix
1200 pages of English scholarship read Got about half way to this goal.  Need to step it up in July.

So based on how things went, the July targets are as follows

Less weight and a lower bodyfat content at the end than the beginning
16 days in the dojo
Finish reading (and taking notes on) 士道, begin writing article.
10 chins
4 (English) books read (1 per week)
Get Scooter License

What's doin'

At work today and for the second (of two) days this week I have work to do.  Not the piddling little one page memos and other no-brainer type things, but actual long, (semi-)important translations to check.  Thank god.

Yesterday I went to the dojo after my 崩し字古文書 class and got there a little late.  Lessons are supposed to begin at 7:00, but the start time varies from day to day.  Anyway, when I got there Yamaki-sensei was in his gi and was the only one there.  Appparently, the number of people that go on Thursday has been diminshing recently, and so there are often only a couple of people there.   I find this a bit surprising because Yamaki-sensei has what I consider the most enviable technique, and he is a stickler for form without being overly domineering.  Anyway, we got to talking a little while I stretched out, and I learned that he has been practicing karate for about 60 years already, and that he is somewhere in his 70s.  Crazy.  I don't know any other 70+ year olds that can do a full split.  Anyway, it was pretty cool to get one-on-one kata instruction for about half an hour (then two more people showed up).  I'll be heading to the dojo again today, and may even go tomorrow, if I can get enough work done during the morning/afternoon.

Phew!  My boss just came in and told me that my contract is renewed for another 3 months.  I am in the midst of setting some things in place that will bring down my monthly expenses (getting a driver's license and getting off the trains), and increase my monthly income (picking up some extra English conversation students).   But having this job through the Fall should allow me to save up enough that I can do all the big ticket things that I want this year which are: 1) go home for a visit of 2-3 weeks, 2) buy a motorcycle, and 3) have enough money come next Spring to pay to keep my student status alive (@ US$ 1,500/year) while I write my dissertation .   Also, if I get the book-buying scholarship that I applied for, pretty much all of this year's books will be covered by Gakushuin.  Yay!

<=78 kg

I had forgotten about writing that last post.  Things at school have been hectic and, though my constant struggle to get into a shape that I am proud of continues, I haven't had time to hop up on a scale too recently.  At last check (about two weeks ago) I was at 78 kg and am likely at that level or less.  I've changed my eating habits a bit and have moved back to a largely vegetarian diet.  That combined with a good routine of working out has me feeling better than I have since March, but I wonder how much my increasing muscle mass is going to show on the scale.

Anyway, I'm going to hit the local public gym tomorrow or Monday and use one of the scales that shows bodyweight/bodyfat.  I know that this is considerably less accurate than going to a doctor for the measurements, but I figure that if I continue to use the same scale, then I should be able to at least gauge my progress in a relative manner. 

I jut finished a back/biceps workout and am waiting for the bath to heat up so that I can take a shower and then get a soak.  I need to regain some flexibility for karate and soaking in a hot tub before stretching out makes things a whole lot easier than otherwise.  I am pretty sore from last night's training because it was pretty intense as there were only three of us there.  Friday nights are always pretty sparse which makes it one of the best nights in terms of receiving corrections.  Also, a group of the highest ranking teachers work out together on Fridays and sometimes each student gets paired up with a teacher for one-on-one instruction.  Those are the times that really push the training ahead.  Also, I get the sense that our seniors are a bit disappointed with our lack of dedication.  From what I have heard, back in the day everyone trained every day, but nowadays most people only go to the dojo 3 or fewer time a week.  So, going on Fridays helps to display my seriousness, and that I don't put drinking or dates or hanging out ahead of my training.  Starting next week I return to my Tues-Friday schedule and am toying with the idea of hitting every other Saturday as well.  I am a bit reluctant to go to the Saturday classes, which are likely very crowded, but I think the extra training will help me to progress a little further a little faster.  We'll see how that works out.

Anyway, after I soak and stretch I am heading out to my friend Tsuyuki's wedding (after-)party.  I found out through the Setagaya Phoenix (hoops club) website bulletin board that she is getting married this weekend, when I went there to find out where they are playing tomorrow.  Tsuyuki is actually the person that first invited me to play with the club and I owe her for having introduced me to all those folks.  I am heading back to play hoops tomorrow for the first time in over a year and am anxious to get back my chops.  A while back I was watching a video of the 1991 NBA Finals between the Lakers and Bulls and got a little pang in my stomach from missing the game so much.  I played hoops in one form or another for almost 25 years, and sometimes I can't believe that I don't run anymore.  I don't have the time to play like I once did, but a couple of time a month ought to be enough slake my thirst.  Plus I can play a bit more once summer vacation begins in about a month. 

Ok, time to check on the bath and iron a shirt.

Back in the Saddle

Hit the dojo tonight for the first time since March.  A little sore, but none the worse for wear. 

I'm a sailor...I sail!

All ends apart from means are illusion...

...becoming is a denial of being.   -- Bruce Lee

Just about 8 years ago I read this quote in a copy of Bruce Lee's The Tao of Jeet Kune Do, that I borrowed from Todd -- who btw, just got his first Mac, welcome to the dark side.  I spent a few weeks contemplating the profundity of this simple statement.  I should say for those of you who are either new to this blog, or just don't know me that well, that I have always been a dreamer.  Being a dreamer is nice, you can have the loftiest goals, and always the promise of a great future to look forward to.  There is very little that is bad about it from the dreamer's perspective.  You only run into problems when a little thing called time begins to factor into the equation.  Well, more specifically the perspective that comes with time served, and also the physical changes that await us all.  But I get a bit ahead of myself....

You see, after a few weeks of ruminating about those two little sentences, and musing abut Todd's fortune cookie which read "Laziness is the holiday of fools.", I felt like I was on the verge of having an epiphany of sorts.  It came actually as I was talking (out of my ass) with Todd.  We were musing about both of our goals fantasies of  teaching martial arts.  He, aikido, and me,  karate and kyudo.  I asked Todd how many hours a day he thought that this future budoka Todd would work out.  He replied (something like) 3 hours a day, and I said that in order to be[come] that guy, then he would have to workout 3 hours a day.  As I said those words, there was a sudden ring of truth for me.  It gnawed at me for days afterward, but I predictably fell back into my old routine and the chaos that was my life as I prepared to go abroad to Japan for the first time.

I was taking a break a few minutes ago and left my desk to stretch my legs outside.  Even though I only work 4 hours at a clip.  I usually take at least one of these "constitutionals" a day to clear my head and also to give my eyes a little time to focus on something farther than arms reach away.  I started to think about how in the book that I am reading there was mention of Dogen  and how one of the revolutionary aspects of his interpertation of Buddhist praxis was that he taught that practice, in this case zazen, was not a means to enlightenment, but was enlightenment itself.  Just do it.  Hmmn.

How does this relate to my conception of myself?  I have always been reluctant to accept any title or moniker for which there wasn't some sort of concrete/external confirmation.  But I wonder, what kind of confirmation will I get that I am a scholar or a karateka/budoka?  My first published article?  The first one in a peer-reviewed journal?  My Ph.d?  A black belt?  A certain number of days in the dojo per week?  per year?  I realize that my perception of who I am is not really about who I am, but, rather, who and what I want to become.  I want to become a scholar/professor.  I want to become a karateka/budo sensei.  I want to become a person that weighs 70 kg.   And on and on.   

It seems obvious (right now at least) that I have been suffering from a fundamentally skewed outlook.  While I don't think that it is necessarily bad or damaging to have goals, it seems that (for me) it might be better to focus on the day-to-day behavior that will lead to them.  Means rather than ends.  Micro rather than macro. 

This is going to take a little more thinking before I can come up with a creed or an  ethos -- at least one that doesn't infringe upon any copyrights.  I wonder, though, if I will be able to rewire my mindset such that I stop worrying about goals (externally imposed deadlines being a different matter).  My gut feeling is that if I own this viewoint and keep in mind who I am (as opposed to who I want to be), I should be able to release some of the anxiety and fear that comes with struggling to get somewhere. 

Since I don't think that blog posts like "Went to the dojo, read 150 pages, and turned down some chocolate cookies at work" will be particularly interesting, I am going to continue to post about progress/milestones.  This will be my forum for this kind of thinking and expression and I'm going to spend my offline time grinding it out.  Smashmouth style. 

Starting now.

No, really

Karate Lack of Training Update

It has been about one week since I set foot in the dojo.  This is a terribly busy time of year with people ending their time in Japan and a new school/work-contract year starting and renewing of visas and the like, so I don't feel particularly bad about my time away.  If anything, this little bit of time off has allowed a niggling problem I've been having with my knees to heal somewhat, and it has also been nice to have back the extra 8 hours a week that I was spending on the trains.  I am planning to head back for a couple of lessons next week, and get back into it in earnest after Chris and Yuki's wedding on the 9th.  The following week will also be the first week of the new school year and I have to get used to the scheduling discipline that will be necessary to keep up four lessons a week and still get my seminar prepwork done.

Something that I have meant to bring up for some time now is that, as of last week, Dwayne had not been seen in the dojo for about two weeks.  This, for most people, is not that big a deal, but up until that point he had been going every day.  The last lesson that I saw him at, his frustration level was a little high and he had been complaining of some knee pain of his own, but it surprised me when his absence had topped a week.  I hope he returns (or has returned in my absence), because in spite of the value of personalized attention, I don't want to be the only person at Friday night lesson as I was on the 11th.  Actually, there has been over the month of March, a decided drop-off in attendance, which I am going to attribute to the end of the year stuff that is going on for everyone.  We'll see what it looks like next week when I head back.

On another semi-related note, I got the opportunity to weigh myself recently, and I think that the weightlifting that I have been doing has pushed me up to my current weight of 78 kg .  Obviously my end of the calendar year goal of 75 kg, and end of (last) school year goal of 70 kg have not been met, but I am relatively satisfied with my progress nonetheless.  I am definitely more healthy and my clothes fit better just about every week.  I may have to be a little careful with the leg training, as some of my pants are getting loose in the waist at the same time that they are getting a little snug in the thighs.  Damn low stances.

It's an everyday thang...

The karate workouts are going  nicely.  I went  last Friday and again yesterday (Monday).   It looks as if my hopes of finding a post-workout drinking buddy have been dashed as Dwayne quit drinking a few years back.  In the midst of my surprise I queried,  Are you sure you're Australian?

In a somewhat strange twist of fate, it turns out that many of the participants in last night's training are alumni of Gakushuin.  I should say that one of the interesting things about training at the Hombu dojo is that every night there is a different teacher.  That is, that every Tuesday is Terui-sensei, every Saturday Kota-sensei, and so on and so forth.  What makes this interesting is that each of them has a slightly different approach to karate.  The style that is taught at Gakushuin is large and circular and "soft".  There is also comparatively more stress placed on breathing and feeling.  While all of  the teachers make a point of stressing the importance of extending attacks beyond the point of contact, the Gakushuin style is akin to Aikido in its emphasis on projecting the will/intention/focus towards the vanishing point. 

I just wanted to get down a few initial impressions now, so that I would have something to compare to as my training progresses.  I am at work now, with new workout bag in tow (hi Todd), and will be heading off to practice today at 5:30. 

Man, I love vacation.

Easier to train when pushed

After yet another (albeit mini) layoff, I went to the dojo last night.  I had been meaning to go all week, but had been making excuses.  But I spent a few hours getting psyched up by reading through Karate-do Kyohan to review my kata, and watching some good old fashion high-flying martial arts action flicks. 

When I got there, Terui-sensei was nowhere in sight and it seemed as though I was the first student to arrive.  I quickly went in to change into my gi and came out to start my long warmup process.  After a few minutes of stretching-out, the woman that I mentioned in my earlier post arrived and went in to change.  I was relieved that I would not be alone, and truth be told was happy that there would be someone with less experience (and physical conditioning)  than I.  The stances that we have to hold are extremely hard for those with  less-than-yogi level of flexibility and even if physically possible usually lead to some serious throbbing of the muscles after 15 minutes or so.  That being the case, it would be best not to be the sole focus of the teacher's scrutiny, and I shed a sigh of relief and continued to try to work out the stiffness from being hunched over my desk all afternoon.

The third student entered and to my surprise....a gaijin.  He bowed as he made his way from the genkan across the training floor to the dressing rooms, and gave me a little nod as he passed.  When he returned in his gi he struck up a conversation -- which by the way is never done in the dojo (before the lesson anyway).  Turns out that his name is Dwayne and he has been training at the hombu for about 6 weeks.  He often goes on the weekends, and hardly ever on Tuesdays so we have never crossed paths.  He, like myself, had trained somewhat seriously (at a different style of karate) when he was younger, and was now returning to it after a two decades long layoff. 

During the lesson I found myself increasingly conscious of Dwayne's presence.  We happened to be next to each other during a fair bit of the basics, and I found myself trying to keep up with his impressive speed.  It was a constant struggle to try to block him out and to concentrate on my own bad habits.  Keep the elbows in.  Make sure that the back heel doesn't lift of f the ground.  Don't hunch the shoulders.  But the whole time I still felt this sense of competition.  I wanted this guy to be impressed by me.  I wanted to show him that I was good. 
Even during the midst of it I was aware of the deleterious effects of this kind of thinking.  I needed to concentrate on what I was doing.  My goal is to improve my technique, not to receive kudos -- unspoken or other -- from some stranger.  Still, I think this is a very common emotion amongst foreigners in Japan.  It is the expat in Japan take on the big fish-small pond situation.  The foreigners with facility in the language lord it over the ones who don't (I have been guilty of this), those with a lot of years here are sure that anyone with less tenure doesn't know the real Tokyo/Japan, and the list of situations goes on.  I have never felt any real competitive urges towards Japanese people at a karate lesson, but this is the 2nd time that I have felt a bit threatened by another foreigner.   

By the end of the lesson I had reined in most of the feelings.  I think the concentration necessitated by the task at hand combined with the my state of exhaustion allowed me to lose sight of Dwyane and to lose myself in what I was doing.   It is hard to say as I rarely look at the clock, but I think my feelings of jealous competition ended about 30 minutes into the lesson and the last hour or so was as the young folks say "all me." 

When the lesson was over I showered and chatted with Dwayne a bit in the dressing room.  He's from Saitama and works at a couple of jobs in Tokyo as well as being part of a Shakespeare company here.  He says he tries to make it 4 or 5 times a week and may even test for a belt come June.  He seems like a nice guy, and though we have different weak points --  we do have the 40ish lack of flexibility in common-- I think we are at about the same level.  I have always done best in sports when I had someone to push me, a fact that I was reminded of recently by my friend James, and so I am going to try to tap his seemingly abundant enthusiasm.   Hopefully it will be a bit easier to go knowing that there will be someone to talk to who happens to be at about the same level, and I think that if we are at the same lesson on the weekends we may just start going out for a beer or two afterwards.  I may be getting a bit ahead of myself here, but even if we only get to chat a little before and after,  I think that that might be enough to push me when I am thinking about blowing it off. 

Anyway,  I am off to the dojo again tonight.

SKA/JKA distinction

Here is a nice article about the difference between the two main types of Shotokan karate in America. I practiced in the SKA organizationwith Marion and Johnson and currently (as of yesterday after a loong layoff) school and the Hombu Dojo during some school vacations

Yesterday we did two 20-rep sets of jump squats. My legs hurt more than they have in two years. It is going to be a long road back.